October 21, 2011
I think we hear that so often that we think this saying is so cliche. I just have the urge to write about this today. I personally think that I have came a long way. In terms of mental mature-ness (if there’s such term). I used to blame everything else outside of me when things went wrong. I had terrible boss, sucky weather, horrible government, horrific people, bad timing, monday blues…why can this world be so wrong ? As if I was the only thing that was right.
After I met my husband, we started to share thoughts and he often recommended me self-improvement books to read. I almost wanted to say that I started to change after I met him, but I know my husband would say that I’ve changed because I want to change. Not because of him. It’s true. Because we can’t change someone. I don’t want to be changed unless I decided it’s time to turn things around. He often told me that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”
It is my choice that I want to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. Initially though, I thought why would I do that. I had fear that I would get “cut off” with the “outside world”. Not updated enough with what’s going on out there. I would become this mom who always look like she has a bad-hair-day everyday. Wearing pajamas all day long. But again, those were all just my own thoughts and I could make every single one of those happen if I wanted to. I could also not make those happen if I wanted to. I told myself that since I had made my choice that I would be a full-time stay-at-home mom, that’s what I would do and do it the best I possibly can.
1 year 11 months later I can tell you, I love every minute of it, especially now with Fiorina around me. My husband sometimes asks me if I’m happy with what I am doing. I can proudly tell him “yes, I am”. I am very happy that I get to be around Fiorina, watch and have parts in her development. Watching her reaching every milestone in her life. I get to breastfeed her exclusively up to this date (11 months 2 days..wohooo…). I’m so proud of that! 🙂 Even though some moms gave me funny look and thought that I should stop breastfeed already. But you know what…. I only have so much time to do what I’m doing. The thought of me giving her the very best inside of me to her, the bonds between us…it’s hard to describe. Fiorina is growing up so fast and I just want to savor every moment I can. I can tell you though, when the breastfeeding part is over, I probably will be the one missing it more than her 🙂 Though I love to have my body and my boobs back lol! but it’s going to be quite a bitter sweet feeling!
I can talk non-stop about my life, Fiorina and my little family. That’s because I love all of them so much. I love what I’m doing and doing what I love. Even this blog, what to cook today, I won’t be blogging here at this very blog without his support. I told him that he had more faith in me than I had for myself. Again, I’m so tempted to say that my husband plays a big part in this. Whether he accepts it or not, I think it’s true 🙂 It’s true that he can’t change me. He can’t make me love what I’m doing, but he has certainly been my mastermind all this time. Someone to exchange thoughts and learn from.