Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the kangkung and let it boil until it's soft but not mushy. Drain off water and refresh the veggie with fresh cold water so that it preserved its fresh green color. Wring out excess water. Steam the grated coconut for 10 minutes
In a mixing bowl, mix the grated coconut, garlic, kaffir lime leaf, and gula Jawa in a food processor and process into a paste
Place the tomato over a grill or broiler and blacken it until it has nice char on the skin. Place the charred tomato in a bowl and cover with plastic wrap for about 5 minutes or so. You should be able to easily peel off the skin. Place the tomato, chili, shrimp paste, salt, water, and lime juice in a food processor and process until it's smooth
In a small saucepan, preheat 1 Tbsp of oil, add the chili paste mixture and the coconut mixture. Saute until the sambal is somewhat thickened and no longer watery. Have a taste and season with salt as needed
When ready to serve, scoop the sambal over the kangkung and toss to make sure the sauce coat the kangkung. Don't do this ahead of time, only dress the salad when ready to serve. Serve with some roasted peanuts if using